On my blog here, it’s not important what I look like. But I have to say this - that part of life which has measurements involved has been tragic with me!
I was stick thin once upon a time way back during my school days. And was still containing the kilos in college. And now after 2 and half years of sitting on my bike/in my car to work, sitting at my desk at work all morning, sitting in the canteen for lunch, sitting at my desk all evening, sitting in front of the TV/laptop at night… I’m Fat! Period.
We don’t want to get into how or why or what now? I’m always getting plenty of advice without having to ask for it anyway. The point of my post is about how life changes for someone who puts on too much weight in too small a time.
Firstly there are the comments you attract. Most people (provided they recognize you with the extra kilos) can’t hide the shocked expression and blurt out things that they seem to think will convey the message without causing much damage.
If the people in question aged around 40+: “Oh! You've gained in health!”
Somewhere near 40: “You must start exercising”
Anywhere between 15-30: “You’ve put on!” (a seconds thought) ”You are looking good though”
Below 15: Anything they say goes like “Aunty, blah blah blah”.
Then your close friends pick out the choicest of nick names, and call you every one of those (with a whole lot of love so that you can’t even mind the names). I get called Fatty and Golu and everything else you can think of to go well with the chubby cheeks.
But the worst part (especially if you’re a girl) is that shopping becomes a nightmare. It’s bad enough that you have to go around a store, looking at all the gorgeous looking skinny gals, in skinny clothes. Focusing on ‘What I need to buy’ becomes so difficult given that you are constantly thinking about ‘What I could have bought if only I had a few kilos less on me’!
Getting fat in a short time also means that a lot of times you don’t feel as fat as you look. Sounds complicated? Picture this.
I’m at a store with clothes arranged in neat stacks (SIZE WISE!). You stand at the head of the row and see a whole lot of skinny looking gals standing at the racks that say ‘XS’ / ‘S’. A similar number of gals stand bunched up near the next one which reads ‘M’. And then beyond that is a rack that says ‘L’. It’s got one of the largest remaining piles of clothes, because no-one is touching them. I know that’s exactly my destination. I’m dragging my feet to it. Its little comfort that there’s another shelf at the far end that says ‘XL’ because everybody seems to be ignoring it! (You’d think no one wants to be caught dead buying something off those shelves!)
Somewhere halfway through the walk down that aisle, I lose courage I start looking at the clothing that’s being sold under ‘M’. And Voila! I pick out one and I think (I really honestly do think) that I can fit into it! I pick out a few more, hold them in front of me and I now I’m certain that I can get into these! I take some to the trail room only to have reality dawn on me. I throw those ‘M’ tagged clothes into a corner. Stomp off to the ‘L’ rack. Pick out something and BUY it without really trying it out.
Shopping done! Torture over!
If being tagged with the ‘LARGE’ label on clothes is bad, nothing gets worse than what my employer is doing to my psych these days. For those who are just beginning to disbelieve me at this point .. There’s a simple explanation for it.
My Name: Bidisha Ghosh
My Full name (with Dad’s name in between): Bidisha L Ghosh
My Company’s way of maintaining the name: Ghosh Bidisha L
The display they put up on my desk:
Can the ordeal end? Fat chance, I'd say!